Unforgettable
by Ruthyroo
Summary: How i think Ste will be feeling now Brendan is out of his life. Stendan.


**Had to write a Ste's Pov, hope you like it :)**

**Unforgettable :(**

I don't understand how you could do this to someone who loves you as much as I do, how could you treat me so unfairly after everything that we've been through together? I wish I knew why, then at least it might make all of this easier to deal with. Even when I begged you, there was no warmth in your voice, or sparkle in your eyes, but I'm not stupid, I know what you're doing. You're trying to push me away again aren't you? It's not going to work though, my feelings for you won't ever change and I won't give up no matter what you say.

I feel so alone and out of my mind with grief now that I no longer have your presence in my life every day. You really don't know what a difference you made and I just want you back with me, in our home, where you belong. I thought i felt dead inside when you hit me again, but nothing compares to the emptiness that I feel now. Maybe it would have been better if Walker had of killed me, because now I want to die anyway. Anything is better than living without you by my side.

You promised me so much, but you lied…you fucking lied again! You should be here making me feel how only you can. You should be here cupping my face with your strong hands, those amazing hands that touched every part of me in a way that could make me do anything. Instead you're torn from my life and locked away for a crime that you didn't commit. Why didn't you just tell the truth? We could have had a chance, but you had to play the hero again and now our love is tarnished, ruined and there is no going back is there?

I don't even know how my heart is still beating after this week…I have lost everything now. I thought that you couldn't live your life without me? I thought I was your reason for existing? Is this just one big joke to you? Because you are living your life without me and you don't even want to see me again. I need you now more than ever, can't you see that? Please don't do this to me, don't leave me now…I don't know how I'll make it without you.

You showed me love that I never even knew existed; you gave me a life that I'd always wanted, so what am I supposed to do now? How do I even make it on my own, knowing where you are and what you've sacrificed? You hate prison don't you? It will mess with your head and make you bad again and I don't want that for you. You deserve so much more. You should have let me in the club, we could've gone away together and started again. I would have done that for you, even if it meant never seeing my kids again.

I know things weren't always perfect for us, I'm not trying to kid myself, but I would relive every bad time we shared if it brought you back to me. I honestly think that I would do anything to bring you home. I miss you so much already, from the minute they ripped you from my life I started to miss you. I felt the loss instantly and nothing has ever felt this bad…I have lost all hope now. I have so many memories of you, but they are only going to bring me more pain and a harsh reminder of why I'm without you.

I have never felt happiness like I did with you in Dublin…beautiful Dublin. It was supposed to be just the start for us, our new beginning and I'd give anything to go back. Once I was back there with you I would stop time so we could be together forever, but I can't do that and reality is hitting me harder than ever right now. I should've known that we wouldn't make it, how many times have we tried and failed before? Only we got so close this time, but that just makes it even more heart breaking doesn't it?

I don't even know how to start this life on my own; my future with you was the one thing I was sure of. How do I even make it through the night with my mind for my only company? My thoughts aren't good and remembering what you said about the next life makes me want to end it all now. So I might have to wait for you to join me but that's better than what I have right now. If only you loved me as much as I love you then we wouldn't be here right now. I could never put you through this.

I thought I was enough for you, I thought you'd give up anything for me…I thought so much. You have given Cheryl a happy ending, but you've destroyed mine and not only mine, you've destroyed ours. We will never get our happy ending now. If you love me at all, then let me visit you. I need to be there for you to make sure you don't go mad; I know what it did to you last time. You were a broken man, haunted by the darkness and I don't want you to be that man again.

I wanted you to be mine so badly, but you were never really mine…even when we were together. There was always someone who wanted a bit of you, someone who thought they had a right to control you or make you feel like you had nothing to give. But you did, you had so much to give, only now I will never see it. Nothings ever gonna change and I'm never gonna feel any differently about you. You Brendan Brady aren't just the love of my life, you're so much more.

You're simply unforgettable.

**Please review xx xx xx**


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